Stone: Basic lake wisdom Vol. 1

I don’t take baths, son, because I don’t like to wash my face with water I used to wash my rear-end.T. Leonard Stone (T. Michael Stone’s daddy)You could fill up your bathtub and call it Lake Wash My Rear-End, but that doesn’t mean it’s actually a lake.

Stone: The soul of wit

Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.Ephesians 5:19-20I brought a copy of Charlotte’s Web home with me the next evening and began to read it to Chiyo the spider.

Stone: Chiyo’s web

From three to four, he planned to stand perfectly still and think of what it was like to be alive . . .From Charlotte’s Web by E.B. WhiteOn the day I met Chiyo, I was feeling low, like I was never going to amount to much of anything. And I was getting too old to defeat such thoughts.

Stone: The Glad Game

When you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.Abraham LincolnAs I write this (Dec. 8), rain has been falling for five days as the relentless gloom of December drags on.The days continue to get shorter. By Dec. 21, the night will last four more hours than the day.

Stone: What are you doing to my game, Rob?

Time to download the ballgame, the latest version is out. Works on your PC and it works on Macs. Let’s just hope that the system ain’t hacked. So, it’s root, root, root kits and malware; viruses you can’t tame. For it’s one, two three clicks you’re out in the XBox game.T.

Stone: Rolling thunder chasing the wind

I recently received two pieces of news almost simultaneously that left me suffering from something I can only describe as emotional paralysis.

Stone: The fortress of forever

And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.Edgar Allan PoeI didn’t think about death much then, because I lived in a nearly impregnable fortress.

Stone: Jurassic World - Camp Crapeceous

That is one big pile of ____.Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum), Jurassic Park, screenplay by Michael Crichton and David KoeppI watched the “Jurassic Park” film with my son when he was a little boy, and he kept rewinding the tape to hear Goldblum’s line about the Triceratops poop over and over.

Stone: C-Am-F-G in 4/4 time

Oh, where, oh, where can my baby be?The Lord took her away from me She’s gone to heaven, so I got to be good. So, I can see my baby when I leave this world. Last Kiss, Wayne CochranMarty McFly went back in time 30 years.

Stone: Elephants, donkeys ... and porcupines

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.Robert Hanlon(This one is for you, Mr. Charlie.)A couple of weeks ago, I attempted to explain how Democrats and Republicans differ when confronted with underwear dilemmas.