There is only one thing for it, then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you.
From The Once and Future King by T.H. White
Last week, I offered advice on how to make the most of shopping at our Publix.
Publix immediately made a liar out of me by pricing the salad kits 50 cents higher than I said they would.
I decided to complain to the Jenkins family — which owns 20 percent of Publix Supermarkets, Inc. — for this deliberate attempt to damage my reputation as a serious journalist.
As I was searching for executive contacts at Publix, I learned some interesting things.
For example, Todd Jones, who started as a grocery bagger, is the company’s chairman of the board.
Rumors persist that Jones is lobbying for legislation that would make it a felony to enter the express line with more than 10 items in your buggy. I’ll be first in line to serve on a grand jury to indict one of these cretins.
According to data company scrapehero.com, there are 898 Publix stores in Florida. Georgia ranks second with 226 stores, one for every 470,000 people in the state. At around 5 p.m. on Friday, you might suspect that all 470,000 are shopping at the Lake Oconee Village location.
But it could be worse.
There are only five stores in Kentucky, one for every 893,600 people in the state. Imagine how busy they must be on Friday at 5 p.m.
There are no Publix locations in California, Delaware, Iran, or Lesotho, the African country President Trump said no one had ever heard of.
I believe Lesotho, with a population of about 2 million, could survive with about 50 Publix locations.
According to an article I found in Insight News from October 2009, Lesotho was—at least at that time—the largest exporter of garments to the United States from sub-Saharan Africa. The Levi’s Jeans company and Russell Athletic have manufacturing facilities there.
“Brands and retailers sourcing from Lesotho include Foot Locker, Gap, Gloria Vanderbilt, J.C. Penny, Levi Strauss, Saks, Sears, Timberland, and Walmart,” the Insight article revealed.
Shoot, I reckon I want me some sub-Saharan slacks.
Wow, that was a seriously off-topic digression, but the sad truth is this column was supposed to be about treacherous car insurance companies anyway. No need to quibble at this point. I got lost somewhere in the third paragraph and wound up wandering around in Lesotho.
(Lakelife Magazine editor Lynn Hobbs knows how that works in this office.)
In fact, I’m so far off course that I just listened to a recording of Lesotho’s national anthem!
So, let’s walk back up the hill to Publix, shall we?
According to corporate. publix.com, Publix was founded by George Jenkins, who was born in 1907 and grew up in Harris, Georgia.
“He headed to Tampa at the age of 17 with hopes of making his fortune in the Florida real estate boom,” according to the Publix website. “Instead, he took a job as a stock clerk in a Piggly Wiggly grocery store. After only a couple of months, he was promoted to store manager.”
According to a Wikipedia article, the Piggly Wiggly Jenkins worked for was bought out by a corporation, and Jenkins tried to talk to the CEO about some grocery store ideas he had, but the CEO was busy playing golf.
It seems fitting that the chain of events leading to the opening of Lake Oconee’s biggest grocery store was influenced by someone playing golf.
In 1954, “Where shopping is still a pleasure” became the Publix slogan (I don’t think it applies to Fridays anymore).
“This isn’t something we dreamed up out of the blue sky and white Florida sand,” Jenkins said of the new slogan. “It’s a philosophy that has guided all our decisions and policies ever since we opened our first food store. We have tried to make good and sure that nothing stands in the way of making that slogan a reality for every one of our customers.”
Dad, burn it! I believe I’m getting a little misty-eyed. I think I’ll buy something from the Publix bakery.
Selah.