John Henry told his captain “A man ain’t nothing but a man But before I let your steam drill beat me down I’d die with a hammer in my hand, Lord, Lord I’d die with a hammer in my hand” ... But John Henry made 15 feet The steam drill only made nine, Lord, Lord The steam drill only made nine ... But he worked so hard, he broke his poor heart He laid down his hammer and he died, Lord, Lord He laid down his hammer and he died.
I’ve always expected that machines (i.e., computers) would one day take over for us; I just thought I would die before it happened.
Not so sure now.
Our advertising manager, Heather Harris, brought her phone into my office recently and showed me how a new app can look at a few photos and someone’s Instagram feed and then write an insulting essay about them.
In Heather’s case, the results were not only insightful and astonishing, but hilarious.
My initial reaction to the app was “Get thee behind me, spawn of Satan.” Then, I just felt depressed.
I mean, dang! What’s left for a writer to do?
I got so demoralized by the thought of my own obsolescence that I asked Siri how to proceed.
The microchip miscreant gave me the number of a barber school.
I liked the world better when thinking computers were primarily the stuff of science fiction books and films and not lurking in my pocket disguised as a cell phone.
I suppose my first exposure to the idea of a malevolent supercomputer was a film called “Colossus: The Forbin Project,” in which a computer takes over the world.
“Obey me and live or disobey me and die,” Colossus tells the people of the Earth. “Under my absolute authority, problems insoluble to you will be solved: famine, overpopulation, disease.” * There is no triumph of the human spirit, just eternal subjugation.
But not all stories of artificial intelligence end in such a gloomy fashion.
Take, for example, Isaac Asimov’s “The Last Question” (Asimov’s personal favorite, by the way). Asimov’s tale begins on May 14, 2061, when an all-powerful supercomputer called Multivac (and later AC) finally figures out how to power the Earth entirely with solar energy.
However, two drunk but curious technicians assigned to attend to Multivac realize that the sun will eventually burn away along with the other stars as the universe approaches maximum entropy, the “heat death of the universe.”
“What will you do then?” a technician asks Multivac.
A teletype machine delivers Multivac’s response: INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.
Millions of years pass, and mankind expands across the galaxy under the guidance of the supercomputer, now called Galactic AC.
But the same questions about entropy remain: MQ-17J asked suddenly of his [Galactic Computer], “Can entropy ever be reversed?”
VJ-23X looked startled and said, “We both know entropy can’t be reversed. You can’t turn smoke and ash back into a tree.”
The sound of the Galactic AC startled them into silence. THERE IS INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.
An incomprehensible amount of time passes as mankind achieves immortality and a state of consciousness beyond what was once thought possible. Billions of galaxies are absorbed and brought under the umbrella of the computer that has become known as Universal AC.
Yet the same question about entropy persists.
In the story’s next vignette, a mind named Zee Prime learns that man’s original star is dead, which leads him to conclude that all stars must eventually die when all the energy in the universe is gone. Thus, he will one day die himself.
So, he asks AC how entropy might be reversed.
Just as Multivac replied to the technician countless eons before, Universal AC answers: “THERE IS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.”
By now, mankind and the supercomputer have merged to become one entity living off what remains of the disappearing energy left in the cosmos.
The Universe continues to cool as Cosmic AC ponders the question of entropy reversal.
Ultimately, “space grew black after 10 trillion years of running down.”
But it came to pass that AC had an answer: And AC said, “LET THERE BE LIGHT!”
And there was light
– Selah.
*Written by James Bridges and D.F. Jones