At the age of six years old, I remember my dad picking me up early from school one day and taking me to Florida.
We went down to St. Marks, Florida and Shell Island Fish Camp. Now, this was in the very early 80s and one of the Jaws sequels had just come out. Because of all of this, it seems sharks were everywhere on TV, or at least it seemed that way to a six-year-old.
I worried for weeks about sharks. I was all the time asking Dad if we would catch a shark, would a shark get us, you know how it is. My dad’s response was always the same: There aren’t any sharks down there; no sharks will get us; you won’t even see one. As long as I live, I’ll never forget my first saltwater fish. A small shark was caught a first thing that morning. I just looked up at him and said, “I told you so!” Sharks never bothered me again!
I don’t know if my dad understood then what he was starting, but I have been in love with shallow saltwater fishing ever since. It’s a passion or a sickness… Depends on where you are standing, I guess. Dad and I, and now my kids, have traveled the southeast region catching reds, trout, tarpon, bonefish, sharks, stripers, even permit.
Although I will tell you permit are pricks. I thought I would share some of my hard-earned lessons on picking a guide as well as what to pursue and plan for on a shallow water trip in this column.
So here goes.
My first piece of advice is this: Never hire a mentally stable, in control, or normal guide.
If they aren’t whacked out from the sun and suffering broken marriages and relationships, they don’t fish enough to catch a bone, a permit certainly, or even stay on tarpon in the keys. The only exception to that is an older guide (and by older, I mean over 55). They’ve already screwed up and recovered. In my opinion, the weirder the better.
Never go fishing for two days. The weather hates that. Seriously, the weather will take you out of that trip 99 percent of the time. My minimum is three and I prefer five in a place. Three days and I know, unless a hurricane hits, I will get one day and five days I will get 2-3 unless I have lived right, gone to confession, and made up with the wife. Even after all that and still, even once in a blue moon, I will get 4 or 5 days.
Tip the guides well. Honestly, they earn it. No matter how good you think you are, you ain’t that hot and no one really wants to put up with you for five days on a boat.
That guide earns every dime tipped. 20 percent is a minimum and usually, if I fish for more than two days, I will tip one whole day's pay at the end. My criteria are simple on this, too. I want to laugh, I want to learn, and I want opportunity. That’s what I expect out of a fishing guide. If I screw up a cast on a bone or tailing red then that’s my deal, not his.
Bars and restaurants - I never eat at chains when traveling and the seedier the better. Honestly, if it’s got fresh seafood, a dock, and a run-down tiki bar that holds the local bar fly up at noon, I’m pretty much going to feel at home eating there.
I prefer breakfast at places that serve beer at 6am and the eggs, bacon, and toast are all cooked together by a red-eyed semi-awake tattooed guy.
Finally, when you find yourself agreeing with and understanding the lyrics to Jimmy Buffett songs it’s time to go home.