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MCHS disbands basketball program to “give other teams a chance”

April 01, 2019 - 13:29
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Morgan County has officially dissolved its boys basketball team

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    Members of the Morgan boys basketball team hold up this year's state championship trophy. PHOTO: Justin Hubbard


Morgan County’s basketball dominance is over.

In a stunning move, the school announced Monday that it is ending its boys basketball program. The decision was made in an effort to level the playing field throughout Georgia’s Class AAA.

“It felt like the right time,” the school said in a press release. “We’ve been on such a great run that other teams are not able to win as much. In accordance with the increased participation trophy-giving practices, we decided to end our program. We’ve got to give other teams a chance to win and that can’t happen with us still in the mix. It’s time to let someone else take over.”

Morgan’s team, of course, won the state championship in early March with a 68-54 victory over Hart County. The title gave the Bulldogs their third state championship in six years.

That was preceded by Morgan’s eighth consecutive region championship. The Bulldogs again steamrolled their way through Region 8-AAA this past season, capping off yet another undefeated year of region play.

One community member, who asked to remain anonymous, attended the state championship parade a few Saturdays ago. That person noted that the crowd was smaller than the crowd at the last celebration. They said the ho-hum reaction to yet another championship likely played a role in Morgan pulling the plug on its team.

“We’ve gotten spoiled by winning,” the community member stated. “Winning the state title is no longer a special occasion – it’s just another day in the town that Sherman wouldn’t burn down.”

It’s appropriate that the community member name-dropped William Sherman. After all, it feels like centuries have passed since Morgan became one of the top teams in the state.

The Bulldogs played in all but one of the last six championship games. The only time they failed to reach the final contest was when they lost in the Final Four round during the 2017-18 season. And even that loss was to private school powerhouse Greater Atlanta Christian, which won an overtime nail-biter.

“It felt nice actually being challenged,” another person in the Madison community said. “Our boys are always dominant so I have no doubt they were just messing around with GAC. How else would you explain them coming back the next year and winning it all even after losing a few really good seniors? Piece of cake.”

Although Morgan’s boys program will cease to exist, its place in history will never be forgotten.

The school also announced plans for a new, state-of-the-art hall of fame building dedicated entirely to its illustrious basketball history.

All of its coaches, including recent championship winners Charlemagne Gibbons and Jamond Sims, will have their own wing.

Each of the program’s top performers, from Tookie Brown (duh) to Jailyn Ingram to Tyrin Lawrence to Alec Woodard, will have permanent displays. A video of Stevin Greene’s soul-taking alley-oop dunk (which went viral on social media) from this past season will run on a continuous loop.

A vertical jump contest will be located in the Kids Zone. Children visitors can see how high they can jump; the measurements will be taken against a life-size cardboard cutout of the 6-foot-9 Nolan Causwell.

“It’s going to be a fun way to pay respect to our basketball history,” the press release stated. “Plus, this will be a great place for all of our previous victims to visit and remember all the times we whipped them.”

When reached for comment, one Region 8-AAA coach expressed his relief that he will no longer have to face Morgan County.

“But, the downside is that we now have to actually learn how to play,” the coach said. “We knew we were never gonna beat Morgan or, as a result, win the region championship, so we didn’t even bother to try. There goes our excuse.”


*Please note this is a satirical article and is not meant to be taken seriously.