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K-9 Oby resigns from GCSO over lack of treats

April 01, 2019 - 14:48
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Greene County Sheriff’s Office K-9 Deputy Oby resigned from the sheriff’s department Friday, claiming a lack of compensation in treats.

“He just walked into my office, put both paws on the desk and demanded more Milk Bones or else,” Greene County Sheriff Donnie Harrison said of the 6-year-old Belgian malinois.

The GCSO’s Capt. Lee Stancill noted that the reason K-9 handlers do not reward their four-legged partners with treats every time they do a very good job is because they might become overweight. Stancill said the department’s two K-9 officers, now down to one with Oby’s abrupt departure, are such very good bois that instead they work for small rubber toys and their handlers’ praise.

Oby’s handler, human Deputy Patrick Paquette, said he hopes Oby will reconsider his resignation, as the two of them have stopped quite a few drug runners transporting narcotics and other contraband between Atlanta and Augusta on I-20 since Oby joined the GCSO.

“It’s a ruff job,” Paquette said, “but it’s rewarding, and we make such a great team.”

But Oby says that it is precisely these drug stops that got him to thinking about his wages. He said he calculated the value of the various drugs he has located on hundreds of vehicles over the course of his service with the department, and that number did not correlate to the number of Milk Bones he has received from his handler.

However, Oby barked that he acknowledges that it is not Paquette’s fault that he does not get treats every time he does a very good job, but he hopes his resignation will result in a change in policy for the GCSO’s entire K-9 unit.

The GCSO’s other K-9 officer, Zero, a 3-year-old Belgian malinois, declined to comment for this story.


*Please note this is a satirical article and is not meant to be taken seriously.